Tuesday, July 26, 2011

OMG -- just make a decision

I'd like to become a politican so I can get paid to argue, complain, go on TV and pretend to help people in my home district. Unfortunately, I'd like to be president more which means I can blame someone else, not come up with plans and host daily press conferences that interrupt prime time TV.

Seriously, POTUS -- stop interrupting my TV shows with press conferences where you stammer about saying f@#k all. If your going to interrupt the few hours a day I'm not working, at least say something important like: I'm giving you more money, I'm quitting, We killed Al Zarwari, We found oil ... so much that we can pretend the MidEast no longer exists, The Moon is full of Aliens, Transformers are real and Optimus Prime's voice is that cool ... you know, say something that matters or otherwise stop interrupting Deadliest Catch and Real World / Road Rules Challenge.

So in a quick snapshot, here's what I've learned from the POTUS interruptions and press conferences:
  • Obama is afraid to field questions from the media. His speech writer is also getting soft because his last couple speeches sound a whole lot like JFK (plagiarism perhaps -- I'd go look it up but I have to work) ... and why is he quoting Regan when he bashed RR during his campaign? 
  • Timothy Geithner - pretty sure we all agree that this guy is an ass hole. Just look at him - no one seems to like him. He is even portrayed as an ass hole in movies ...
  • We've raised the debt ceiling a number of times - under both Democrat and Republican presidents ... so why can't we do it again? Sorry ... that was as simple question with a simple answer ... it has no room in politics.
  • Solutions are optional - I was always taught that if you wanted to fix something, then you bring a solution to the table. Even if the solution might not be the best, at least your trying something.  I've learned through this process that if your President, that no longer applies to you. Don't bring solutions and hope someone else does it. 
  • POTUS doesn't want to delay the vote b/c he's afraid he won't get re-elected. Pretty sure he thinks we are all stupid and we don't see right through his "logic"
So lets just face it ... out credit rating is about to drop, we won't have an agreement by August 2, ATMs will be out of $$$, depression, inflation, interest rates will go up, value of the dollar will collapse, China and Russia will take over the cities they own, pets heads will fall off, new guy will puke in the corner, the Braves will do nothing before the trade deadline, riots / looting will become common place, famine, war, alien invasion, maybe a meteorite will hit after Ben Aflec tries to blow it up, Hugh Grant will hire another hooker, England will lose on penalty kicks and Elian Gonzalez will be the new leader of Cuba ... all these things might happen. Probably not ... but they might. I mean, I don't care b/c I'm winning that 100 million dollar power ball tomorrow night and moving to Switzerland. Auf Wiedersehen, kids!!!!



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