Since I know that isn't possible, I have tried to use every skin care product available to try an fix the uncomfortable ailment. Dr. Jerry Punch suggested that I have Hepatitis and Herpes and after a pretty funny exchange, we realized neither could be the case. So finally, I did what I hate to do ... and visited a doctor. Yes, that's right, I went to the doctor. In case you haven't noticed, I enjoy going to the doctor as much as I enjoy listening to Mumford and Sons.
Lucky for me, I've had my doctor since I was 7 years old and aside from his love to give me shots, he's a pretty entertaining fellow ... well, that and I think he wants me to marry one of his kids ... anywhoo. So, after a series of fun tests, we realized that I potentially have shingles (yay, stress induced issues ... woo hoo ...) and a strong allergic reaction to ... wait for it, wait for it ... Wool.
Wool ... kinda a staple fabric in cold weather and now I'm allergic to it. Usually, I'd chalk it up to another Murphy's Law issue in my life but this time, all I could muster out of my mouth was, "F&ck me running ... sh@t" -- (phrase is stolen from Captain Fry one evening when he was doing snow angels in a mulch pile during a hail storm.
The allergy is clearly unfortunately because all of my winter gear (sans military commando stuff) is made of wool and its currently 28 degree F outside. Oh and what really sucks is that I just bought a nice $300 Burberry Scarf that causes me to choke and almost die. Looks like someone is going to get a nice scarf as a re-gift present this holiday season.
So if you are in the market for wool pea coats, scarves, gloves, toboggan hats, mittens, sweaters, vests, moo moo's, snuggies or ear muffs ... give me a call. I have lots of wool things that need to go ... pronto!
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