Happy New Years Eve!

Lots to do today so just a quick Happy New Years everyone. 2010 didn't suck, but it wasn't great so let's look forward to an outstanding 2010. I do have some resolutions for 2011 -- to not make the same mistakes of 2010 and to have more fun. All work and no fun makes Jed a dull boy.

On today's agenda:

• 5 mile run (check and let's just say it didn't go so well)
• Catholics vs. Criminals (I hope the U returns to form -- doubt it ...)
• UGA vs. UCF (UCF is coached by a criminal as well)
• Cook dinner for a bunch of peeps (the good news, most will be intoxicated so it will be good)
• Drink four bottles of Moet and Veuve de Clique (that's right Grumpy, the French stuff)
• Bottle of Makers and a couple of bottles of Duvel, Quak and Chimay (that's right Fran, the Belgian stuff)
• Cause mayhem, havoic and chaos -- or just hang out with some friends and enjoy a peaceful start to 2011

Hope everyone has a safe and wonderful New Years Eve. May 2010 leave as quickly as it arrived. And to my Brit friends, since you have ahead start on 2011, make it memorable.

Picture of the day

A Toast ... to all of you that suck

Saw a great idea on the Today Show this morning (all Kathy Lee's idea -- she was drunk I think) ... hold a toast a few days before New Year's to toast all the ass hats / clowns, cowards, dip-shits and bad things that happened in the past year. Kinda an intersting idea ... why not throw some good at what was bad? Especially if it means good luck for the upcoming year?

Personally, I think this last year has been pretty good. With the exception of a few bad judgement calls, too much travel and the month of September, this was an interesting and decent year -- an improvement on 2009 for sure. I'd give it a C ... so in order to make 2011 amazing, everyone should go have a toast in the next couple of days to all that sucked in 2010. And yes ... I'm superstitious about a few things.

In the words of Kanye West (and yes, this is the only time I'll quote him) - "Let's have a toast for the douchebats, Let's have a toast for the assholes, Let's have a toast for the scumbags, Eveone of them that I know, Let's have toast for the jerkoffs, That'll never take work off, Baby I got a plan, Runaway fast as you can."

So here's to all of you that suck ... may your fortunes turn dark, never change and disappointment follow you in all that you do. Cheers!!! Now onto some happy stuff for 2011 ... like the South of France in September and the Caribbean in April.

For the Dawsonville folks

So I was bored, playing with iLife and threw this together. Yeah, its not the best but I figured it would make the dog and my mom happy.

Christmas Time = Engagement Time

Looks like the snow also sprarked some special magic and a number of my close friends got engaged (or it was just that time but hey, let's focus on the magic of the snow). Aside from my first week out of Furman, I'm not sure I can recall this many people getting engaged at one time.

The good news, all said yes and we aren't going to have to play Kinchifoone Cowboys (lyrics include: That's one of those big things, one I'm gonna always remember, I gave her the ring, she gave me the finger, I gave her my word, she shot me the bird ...) for anyone later this week.

Special congrats to:

• Dr. Kenneth Noisewater and Collins Hill
• Athens Girl and Jessie James
• Beyatch (aka Wisconsin Krisie) and The Man From Down Under
• Mindy Soko and Not Dan Yohaus (figured you'd like that Fry)
• Oh and I have to throw Frenchy on the list ... he didn't get engaged over Christmas, but did earlier this year and I forgot to mention it. Plus, his wedding is a great excuse to spend my birthday in the South of France.

Congrats everyone. My your engagement vibes bring us a White Christmas every year and an amazing 2011.

Yay! White Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! And to celebrate ... how about the first White Christmas in Atlanta since 1882. 118 years! Who cares if we are snowed it ... it's absolutely beautiful and very excited my parents bought the mountain house. Yesterday, we hiked waterfalls and today we wandered around in the snow. Great way to spend Christmas. Hope everyone has an amazing Christmas and thankful for everything that's around them. Merry Christmas.

Picture of the day

Merry Christmas Eve

Hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas Eve -- by far one of the greatest days of the year. I love this time of year and now that we have snow in the forecast, I can't wait. I've never had a white Christmas and sure hoping this year will deliver.

Off to cook some amazing meals and spend time with the family. Hope you all have a Merry Christmas.

This takes me back ...

Special thanks to Scrat for finding this ... I owe you all an entire blog about Scrat and that will come shortly. He might be the greatest man left in Gwinexico (please move before the cartels take your family). Watch the video, he's #1 running around and diving about at shortstop.

Anywhoo, this video is a stroll down memory land and quite possibly one of my favorite High School Baseball memories -- possibly one of my favorite baseball memories period. Oh and at the 1:18 mark, I would clearly argue that it was not my best performance that year because I feel like sounding like an arrogant son of a bitch today. I only had like 12 Ks that night ... and yes, that's me skipping around and jumping up in the air in the black jacket.

Happy Dec 23rd

Unfortunately we missed this ... thanks pre-Christmas Rain. Can't wait for the White Christmas!

Happy Birthday You Old Bastard!

The best holiday songs

Since its the holiday season, what better way to celebrate than with Christmas music. Well, if you are like me and Clark Griswold, you are about fed up with Bing Crosby and are looking for some other quality, entertaining holiday songs. So I give you a few of Jed's favorite holiday songs that aren't necessarily traditional holiday songs (especially Fall Out Boy's):

1. Run DMC -- Christmas in Hollis: This must be at the top of ever list ... "it was Dec. 24th in Hollis Ave in the dark ... "
2. U2 -- Baby Please Come Home: Old school Bono singing about Christmas and a cool video. The U2 version edges out the Bon Jovi version by an inch.
3. Mariah Carey -- All I Want For Christmas: yeah, this made the list b/c this was before Mariah went full on crazy and its covered in almost every holiday movie / chic flick. Plus, Honey was on Satelite radio this morning and for some reason, I hvae Mariah on the brain. Someone please end me.
4. The Waitresses --Christmas Wrapping: A holiday must and my personal favorite ... love this song -- "Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Couldn't Miss This One This Year."
5. Fall Out Boy -- Yule Shoot Your Eye Out: If you hate someone this holiday season, then this song is for you -- Love it! If I truly hated anyone, I'd send this to them, but alas, I do not, so this is if for you all to enjoy. "Your The Last Thing I Want To See, Underneath The Tree, Merry Christmas, I Could Care Less."
6. Wham -- Last Christmas: Seems like most of the Christmas songs are from the 80's. I remember my sister playing this song over and over again when I was a kid. And she had a huge crush on that other guy, not George Michael, the other one that no one remembers. Boy George maybe?

So these are just a few ... I know there are hundreds more. Regardless, this is a quick list that will get you over listening to Peter, Paul & Mary or Bing Frickin Crosby over and over again.

Happy Tuesday

While these are not holiday videos, they are great songs to put you in a great mood this Tuesday ... yay, Christmas is almost here.

Holiday Parties Are The Best ...

I love holiday parties and part of me wishes they were monthly. Then again, the resounding hangover the day after usually is a reminder that holiday parties should only come once a year.

This year's party reminded me of the days of my early 20's when holiday parties were fun and dangerous. In case you haven't had your holiday party yet, here are some sure-fire tips to enjoying yourself (even if its at the expense of others):

• Don't eat -- why spoil any empty stomach of alcohol with food
• Get someone else to drive -- this is about having fun, not hanging out with your Jewish attorney the next morning
  
• Have at least 4 - 5 cocktails before arriving. This will ensure that you will have fun and you can put up with any conversations that you might find un-enjoyable. Plus if your date / evening sucks, you've got on that sweet, sweet cologne called "I don't give a F@ck"
  
• Be sure to wear a suit -- always suit up ... and wear a Santa hat. Like a Fedora, a Santa hat is the perfect accessory. Oh, and if possible, work in cuff links that you can either use to tell a story or as a weapon.
  
• Bring a flask -- yup, bring your own alcohol. In case you have drink tickets and they run out, you will need a flask. Plus, everyone loves the guy with a flask as well as flasks are excellent discussion points (see 2004 and 2010 holiday parties)
  
• Dance -- I don't care how bad you dance, pull the "Hitch" moves, stay in your zone and chill. If someone knocks your drink out of your hand while dancing, stare at some one else as if it was their fault.
  
• Bring a camera because 1. You need to document your fun-ness 2. You can blackmail other people with pictures of them at your party.
  
• If you take a date, make sure she's 1. An escort, 2. Your wife of many years who knows this could get ugly, or 3. Some random chic your willing to leave at a moments notice. Holiday parties are not for gloating or showing off your significant other ... they are about irresponsible and drunken behavior.
  
• Find the person that normally doesn't drink ... and make them drink. This will lead to lots of fun conversations and pictures.
• Beer, while an amazing beverage, should only be used as a marinade or at the post party. All other drinks should be brown or clear liquor. Mixers are optional.
  
• If it's not your party and you don't necessarily love your date, don't want to be there or don't have enough alcohol; talk about religion, politics, drug habits, porn and refer to yourself in the third person as much as possible. Regardless if they like you are not, you will leave a lasting effect on everyone.
• Wear leopard print undergarments. In case something does happen, you won't be sorry.
  

While I didn't employ all of these tools this year, I did implement a few and had a great time. Hope you all have wonderful holiday parties and here's to 2011 ... let's hope it doesn't disappoint.

Onion's Year End Wrap Up Report

Ahh ... the week before Christmas which means for those of us that are working we are either a) Cleaning out ours desk / files in preparation for 2011 (hopefully not getting fired), b)Finishing up reports, c) Compiling plans for 2011 and wondering where all the budget went, d) Wondering why its not snowing and cursing Flip Spiceland, e) eating copious amounts of candy and baked goods or f) watching TV and napping off last night's hangover

One other fun way to pass the time, read the Onion's year end report. I love the Onion and all it has to offer ... couple of my favorites on Tony, Abby and Barack below:

• Tony Hayward: Emulating the gallantry, adaptability, and dedication to duty displayed by English gentlemen throughout the imperial occupation of India and decades of adventurism in darkest Africa, former BP CEO Tony Hayward's flip, and often arrogant, response to the Deepwater Horizon's devastating oil spill this April marked, at long last, a shining, highly public return of the classic British gentleman.

  Only Hayward possessed the uniquely English unctuousness and resolve to note that the spill—the largest of its kind in North American history—was "tiny in relation to the total volume of water" in the ocean. Nobly disdaining the outrage of shrimp-boat-owning commoners whose petty livelihoods were foundering in muck from the Macondo well, Hayward, like the dukes and regents of yore, dutifully took time off to attend a yacht race, expressing the bitter regret proper to his station in life when his yacht did not win.

  As public uproar grew, Hayward refused to lower his standards, and in a moment that perfectly encapsulated the British byword "Keep Calm and Carry On," he declared, without a hint of irony, "I'd like my life back."

  A more classic example of British compassion and grace under pressure could hardly be imagined. When little people whose homelands were devastated for generations to come overreacted by demanding Hayward be fired, he put the Americans, Mexicans, and other colonials in their place after his forced resignation by saying that, perhaps if he'd earned a theater degree instead of one in geology, there would have been less outrage from a hostile public. In an era that has seen the U.K. become synonymous with social conscience, humility, and perspective, Hayward represents a remarkable hearkening back to a proud, centuries-old British tradition.

• Abby Sutherland: Few will be able to forget when 16-year-old California native Abby Sunderland set out this year to become the youngest person ever to circumnavigate the globe solo and avoid having to work a summer job just like everyone else her age. Beginning in Marina del Rey, where the lazy teen did everything she could to avoid picking up a few shifts a week as a greeter at Patagonia or—God forbid—deliver pizzas, Sunderland guided her 40-foot sloop Wild Eyes southward until malfunctioning power generators forced her ashore in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. On her second attempt, timed precisely to avoid the months when all the local landscaping places were hiring, she rounded Cape Horn and crossed the Atlantic. After a rogue wave destroyed her ship's mast in the middle of the ocean, Sunderland was rescued from an honest week's work some 2,000 miles east of Madagascar, and more than 5,000 miles from the nearest grease trap. After a summer spent trying to prove that exhausting physical obstacles are no match for human will, Abby Sunderland doesn't even have a decent line on her resumé.

• Barack Obama: Barack Obama, the first black president, proved to millions this year that he is either trying his best to lead the nation during the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, or he is the modern-day incarnation of Adolph Hitler. One of the two.

  In 2010, Obama made a number of political compromises while still trying to pursue many of the reforms laid out during his 2008 campaign. Also, he was a totalitarian monster comparable to the perpetrator of one of the worst genocides in history. He is either a president who passed a comprehensive health care measure despite staunch opposition from powerful private interests, or a radical-Islamist sympathizer bent on systematically dismantling American democracy and eradicating all human liberty. He either lowered taxes for most Americans while failing to communicate that effectively, or he is pure evil. Whichever.

  Barack Obama, two of the most important people of 2010: the one who was elected to be president of the United States and execute laws to the best of his ability, and the one who murders senior citizens and hates all white people. Only history will say which he is for sure

This is how we roll in China

Captain Fry Picture of the Day

Thursday Song of the Day

Pretty sure they won't play this tonight at the company party, but for some reason I can't get it out of my head -- and a very interesting video. Looking forward to the party tonight and yes, I have flask in hand. Pictures and stories to follow. I'm off tomorrow so I'm going to see what sort of trouble I can find late night.

It never pays to be the chic in Diddy's tub

It's that time of year again ...

That's right boys and girls, Jesus is packing ...

Red Sleigh Down
Tags: SOUTH
PARKmore...

Well, that's about right ...

Over the last couple of weeks, I've acquired this really annoying issue with my face. Go ahead -- make your lame ass comments about how I look, but honestly, I've acquired this phenomenal rash that rivals teenage acne -- the TV commercial type acne. To make matters worse, its really uncomfortable and I actually thought, "I have poison ivy on my face."

Since I know that isn't possible, I have tried to use every skin care product available to try an fix the uncomfortable ailment. Dr. Jerry Punch suggested that I have Hepatitis and Herpes and after a pretty funny exchange, we realized neither could be the case. So finally, I did what I hate to do ... and visited a doctor. Yes, that's right, I went to the doctor. In case you haven't noticed, I enjoy going to the doctor as much as I enjoy listening to Mumford and Sons.

Lucky for me, I've had my doctor since I was 7 years old and aside from his love to give me shots, he's a pretty entertaining fellow ... well, that and I think he wants me to marry one of his kids ... anywhoo. So, after a series of fun tests, we realized that I potentially have shingles (yay, stress induced issues ... woo hoo ...) and a strong allergic reaction to ... wait for it, wait for it ... Wool.

Wool ... kinda a staple fabric in cold weather and now I'm allergic to it. Usually, I'd chalk it up to another Murphy's Law issue in my life but this time, all I could muster out of my mouth was, "F&ck me running ... sh@t" -- (phrase is stolen from Captain Fry one evening when he was doing snow angels in a mulch pile during a hail storm.

The allergy is clearly unfortunately because all of my winter gear (sans military commando stuff) is made of wool and its currently 28 degree F outside. Oh and what really sucks is that I just bought a nice $300 Burberry Scarf that causes me to choke and almost die. Looks like someone is going to get a nice scarf as a re-gift present this holiday season.

So if you are in the market for wool pea coats, scarves, gloves, toboggan hats, mittens, sweaters, vests, moo moo's, snuggies or ear muffs ... give me a call. I have lots of wool things that need to go ... pronto!

From London to ... Wichita?

Quick update from Wichita ... its F*cking freezing. Wind Chill is -2 degrees F and the air temperature is around 12 F. Going down to 5 tonight with a nice breeze of 20 MPH.

London Trip -- The Film Version

This is what you do when your jetlagged and wake up at 4 AM every day ... you make bad movies.

The only way is Essex

This is AWESOME ... and no, I have no clue what they are saying ...

What a long strange trip its been ...

"Sometimes the lights are all shining on me ... Other times I can barely see ... Lately, it occurs to me, what a long strange trip its been" - Truckin'

I guess that would be a great summation of 2010, but I also think its a good description for my whirlwind tour to London. Amazing trip, great to see everyone and blessed with some beautiful snow / scenery. Some things from the trip:

• Snow in London is beautiful. Never really had much when I lived there but got to experience a ton of it on this trip.
• Reindeer is really good -- yeah, sorry Rudolph. Maybe Santa should start selling off his Reindeer and upgrade to a G5.
• Crunchie bars are a gift from God. So are Gellato Sundae's at Harrods.
• No matter how many times I do it, a walk across London on a cold weekday morning is still an amazing and educational experience.
• If your in a great mood and just appreciate everything around you, its not cold or hot outside -- its perfect. That's pretty much the best way to sum up the trip -- Everything that I needed.
• The London / English Countryside is the place to be. I'd move there, but let's be honest, without College Football, Best Buy and a few other modern conveniences, I'd go crazy again.
• I've fallen for overland trains and really wish we had them in Atlanta. Not having to worry about a designated driver is a very nice thing.
• English dinner parties are a wonderful time. Maybe it's because I only understand every third word, but they are a great way to spend an evening.
• It's great to have friends from another part of the world -- they open your eyes to new things and keep you grounded. If you don't have one, go get a pen pal ...

There aren't enough words to thank my European friends for the last week. It was an amazing time and I'm blessed to have such great friends who will give you a hard time and provide you with the tough love that we all need. While I'm not sure I'll move back any time soon, I'm happy to know I have a second family that I get to see a few times a year.

Thanks again and Happy Holidays you Muppets!

Days 4 and 5 and maybe 6 ... I've lost track

The whirlwind trip continues and having an incredible time ... so much so, I'm questioning coming home. If only they could figure out a way to bring College Football here.

The days are running together so a few updates and some pictures. It is still very cold, but I'm having such a good time, I've barely noticed.

• Jamie Oliver's restaurant -- went to Jamie Oliver's in Kingston. I've been before but this time was a different experience and the food was phenomenal. Unfortunately, Jamie didn't cook at our table which gives me another reason to come back and play.
• English TV -- its very bizarre and highly entertaining. Watching some show last night that the City / Hills, but based in Essex. Half of the show, I had no idea what people were saying, but the actresses and their outfits made up for it.
• Hand and Spear -- name of the pub we went to the other night. Love British pub names ... oh and I love the Cider. Regardless that its below freezing, its all state of mind and the Cider is awesome. Also went to a few other entertaining pubs with Wanna Be American Kate where I'm pretty sure we solved all of the world's problems
• Saw Santa (Father Christmas) and some sort of dancing bear exhibit that reminded me of Usher / Rockabilly Explosion and Showbiz Pizza ... I think the kids were scared
• Met up with Frenchy and people watched on the King's Road. Few pints and Kebabs with Frenchy is always a good time
• New art exhibit at The National Gallery and a new sculpture / art of a giant ship in a bottle. Love love love the national gallery and the opportunity to see Monet, Manet, Renoir, etc ... Too bad the High Museum doesn't have an exhibit like the NG. Then again, we didn't pilfer Germany after the War ... of art.
• Christmas Tree in Trafalgar Square looked about 100 feet tall and was a gift from Nowary. Apparently, they left their weather here too.
• Made my yearly trip to Harrods to pick up a few essentials and eat the worlds greatest Hot Fudge Sundae. I think its justified for the seven mile walk I took in the AM.
• Windows at Harrods and Harvey Nicks have some very interesting takes on Christmas. I love em but they aren't something you'd see in the States.
• Saw the changing of the guard -- seen it many times but never on Dec. 7. They played a piece of the Star Spangled Banner in tribute to Pearl Harbor.

Day 2 and 3

Well, the first thing that I ran into today is the fact that the English keyboards are different ... how could I forget something like that ... anywhoo, sorry for the typos.

Day 2 and 3 were amazing and ended up seeing old friends in London and then heading to the Cotswolds for the weekend. Lots more updates to come when I'm home but here are some updates:

• Borough market at Christmas = amazing. Had a Reindeer burger and hummed Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer as I devoured the burger. Everyone should try Reindeer ... really good.
  
• Wandered around East London with Pippen and went to the Dovetail to drink some Belgian beers. Nothing warms you up in the snow like some Kwak and Duvel.
  
• The Christmas tree in front of St. Paul's is impressive ... so are the little people dressed as elves standing around it. I figured the church might have an issue with that until I saw a picture of "Father Christmas" who looked like the pope with a beard.
  
• Caught up with the Frenchman at the Sloney Pony in Parsons Green. Always great to see Frenchy - he is in great form and really knows how to put life in perspective. I only saw him for 1.5 hours and it was a giant ! mark on the trip.
  
• Drove to the Cotswolds -- unfortunately Nems and Pippen wouldn't let me drive ... so unfortunately. As we pulled into Gloucester County, the snow was pouring down. It was really beautiful. Highly recommend everyone spend a weekend in the Costwolds just to say you've been there ... done that.
  
• Went to Bath for the Christmas festival. Ended up on a one car train that was highly entertaining. All I have to say is I regret that I didn't live in England as a teenager. They have a A LOT more fun than American teens.
  
• Bath Abbey -- we went in for the shopper holiday service and sang Christmas Carols with a couple thousand people. Very pretty and got us all ready for the holidays.
• Wandered around Bath and drank the famous Bath water ... pretty sure I have a tapeworm now. Most God Awful beverage ever. I had to drink 5 pints and two hot chocolates and Bailey's to get it out of my system.
  
• Enjoyed a night by the fireplace in the Cotswolds eating fine cheese and drinking Belgian beer. Pretty sure Nems should go ahead and call her house in the Cotswolds a Bed and Breakfast ... great place.
  
• Went to the Christmas market on the South bank and had one of the greatest crepes of all time -- chocolate, nutella and bailey's ... common theme here. Anything with Bailey's is phenomenal. Can you make a Bailey's steak sauce?
  

More to come ... couple of pictures:

Day 1.5 in snowy London

I'll have some more time to update later, but here are a few quick points about my first 1.5 days in the UK (pics to follow):

• Flight was an adventure - sat next to a very giant guy who had tourettes. Not kidding, every couple of minutes he would yell f*ck, sh*t ... it was odd. When he lost his iPod at the 3 hour mark, I thought the stewardess was going to re-route the flight due to his outburts. I dealt with it by the mighty power of sleeping pills
• Landed to tons of snow and 1/2 the highways closed ... No wanna be american kate at the airport so I set off on an adventure to get to the countryside
• Journey was amazing -- took one tube, three trains, a cab and a wandered across some open areas in the snow ... it was beautiful and incredible. The city is covered in 8 - 12 inches of snow and its amazing
  
• Found my way to Kate, immediately went to a pub, had a few pints and then went out to the farm to take care of the horses.
  
• Drove around in the snow and realized that London deals with snow much like Atlanta ... they don't so well
  
• Slept for 12 hours -- most sleep I've had in months
  

Lots of pictures and updates to come later ... off to find some trouble. If the roads open, we are off to Bath and the Cotswolds tomorrow ... if not, pubs and playing in the snow. Woo Hoo.

Grumpy won't like this link

But its an interesting read from today's New York Times. I'm not the world's biggest fan of the NYTimes, generally, b/c I think people say its great b/c its the popular thing to do, but anywhoo ... Check out the link here From WikiChina

Gotta go find something to do ... being way too productive for being on vacation.