Jed's Top Places for the Royal Wedding

Since all the major networks are telling you all the "things you must do, experience or say" in London because of the wedding of they century, I've decided that I'm going to share what Jed recommends. Call it the non-CNN / NBC approach to London that may or may not include royalty.

1. Crunchie -- eat a Crunchie bar ... they are tre tre amazing. 
2. Call a red head a Ginger -- Prince Harry is a Ginger so it works out well.  And if you didn't know, the English (non-gingers) don't love the red heads. 
3. Drop F Bombs and use the T and C word -- you can get away with it there. Also, explore the usage of Muppet, Poppet, Daft, Brilliant, Cheers, Dis - Gus - Ting.  
4. The Crabtree -- every visitor to London must visit the Crabtree especially on Cinco de Mayo.  It has great views of the Thames and I once met James McAvoy there ... or was it the ship.  Whatever -- none of yall will goto this place so it doesn't really matter. 
5. Drink at the National Portrait Gallery -- there are lots of portraits in the museum, but skip all that.  Go straight to the rooftop where you can get drinks and have some great views of London. Plus, if you tell them you work for MS&L, you get in for free. BONUS! 
6. Havana club -- there is no chance in hell anyone royal has ever been to this place. In fact, I'm pretty sure no one over 30 has ever been in this place.  
7. The Kebab Kid -- another place in Parsons Green that has never seen a royal person. In fact, they told me I was one of their first Canadian guests. Um - yeah, see when I lived there, I told people I was Canadian so if I did something awful, they blamed it on Canadians.  BAM WINNING !!! 
8. Rickshaw Ride -- if you get the chance, goto Oxford Street and steal a Rickshaw. Rumor has it, you can get to Victoria before the police will pull you over.  
9. Three Kings -- another pub that royalty has never visited. In fact, I never went there with out downing 8 - 10 drinks in advance.  If your looking to speak English to someone that is speaking English back but you can't understand a word they are saying ... go here. 
10. Get a gypsy cab ... especially if your in Notting Hill.  They are great. In fact, they actually think they are in Turkey so good chance, you will get a very scenic view of London as you drive all over the place. 
11. Grab a two liter of Strongbow and take a bus trip around London -- its cheap and after a 2 liter of Strongbow, your drunk
12. If the sun is out, goto Sainsbury, stand in life for an hour, get a two liter of Strongbow, BBQ set and then go sit in the park and watch the British sunburn.  Amazingly, they will turn purple in about 45 minutes.  It's amazing to watch ... no one tans ... they turn purple ... except wanna be American Kate -- she tans :). 
13. Best place to watch the wedding -- in a pub ... really, don't goto a park, sit in a pub. No reason to freeze outside when you can get tanked and watch the wedding with a bunch of fun brits.