Anyone know Bethany?

Around 1:45 AM last night, I was awoken to loud crashing which I immediately thought was thunder. Since we've had a number of thunderstorms lately, I thought nothing of it until I heard it over and over again and then some drunken yelling. I got out of bed, headed to the kitchen to hear some drunken kid screaming, "Bethany, I'm going to kill you. I love you. Open the door!" Unless someone named Bethany secretly lives in my spare room, I'm pretty sure this kid was in the wrong place.

Highly annoyed and barely awake, I thought that yelling some simple words would get him to leave, so I yelled back, "There's no Bethany here, your at the wrong address, go away." This incensed the idiot and he thought I was Bethany's new boyfriend so he continued to yell and threaten me. At that point, I yelled back, "I have a gun, I will shoot you, go away". Of course, I would never shoot anyone but I thought I'd have some fun with the kid because I'm now awake and clearly, this clown isn't going away.

Unfortunatley, he didn't catch the hint and he continued to bang on the door (which I wonder why none of the neighbors woke up). I thought about calling the police but then realized that 1. They would do nothing and 2. They wouldn't arrive for a couple of hours and would keep me up.  So, I decided that I'd have some fun with the kid but grab a few items (unloaded 9mm and TPX aluminum bat) to protect myself in case the kid snapped. The banging continued and I finally opened the door. 

The yelling immediately stopped when the kid looked down and yes, there was a 9 mm in my right hand (unloaded of course) and a bat in the left hand.  I told him, "There's no one hear named Bethany, now jog on." Personally, I was impressed with myself that I said "jog on" because I haven't said that in years. Anywhoo -- the drunk Emory student turned ghost white and sprinted down the steps (he fell down a few) and ran off.  I'm pretty sure he finally realized that he was at the wrong address. 

Key learning - I seriously need to find this Bethany person ... just must have some real power.

If the kid comes back tonight, I'm going to shoot him with a paint ball gun. Maybe I should just get a giant dog ?