Ok, enough creative writing for the day ... in all seriousness, I got my money on Steven is a deuche and Emily will soon be sleeping with one of his much more successful friends.
And for the record, yes, I would completely do something like this but i would add pictures. Rumor has it, Captain Fry and I once took some tires off a guys car b/c he may or may not have been cheating on the girl I was dating ... ironically, her name was Emily. May or may not be a true story. Depends on the statue of limitations in South Carolina.