Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Live ... BREAKING NEWS ... Libya

Ok, so I'm not on the ground in Libya (that goes against Jed's policy of never returning to Africa ... ever), but I haven't been able to sleep the last couple of nights, so I've watched endless hours of news about the "war" ... or as John Stewart puts it, America at NOT-WAR.

Here's some key things that I've noticed from the media about Obama's NOT-WAR:
  • CNN and Fox are arguing over whether they are being used as human shields by the Libyan government. According The Sun, the greatest newspaper of all time, both are being used by the Libyans and the argument is over ratings. Imagine that -- a news outlet making an issue out of something for ratings.
  • CNN just had a "Breaking New" story about Obama and the War Powers Act. Not to insult anyone, but the War Powers Act has been a resolution connected to the Constitution for about 38 years. Not so much "Breaking News" -- dynamite reporting CNN! Why isn't Anderson Cooper on the ground in Tripoli?
  • What's up with Ghadaffi's sunglasses? Those thing are tight. Kinda like Blueblockers, but despot / dictator sheik.
  • Obama just came out and said that he "hopes" the rebel forces can take down Ghadaffi. Hope is certainly what I would hope our leader would say after we've fired hundreds of Cruise missles and spent billions of dollar on a "no fly zone". I'm sure glad he's leading the charge and really happy to see that we are siding with a "military force" like the Libyan rebels. I haven't seen that many track suits since my last trip to New Jersey -- how about we donate some Camo to them -- the Arsenal / Barcelona Nike track suits aren't what I'd say are military issue uniforms. Also, these freedom fighters waste more ammo firing into the air than actually shooting at the bad guys. Looks like we hitched our billion dollar military complex to a winner!
  • How are we affording this? And why are we supporting so many people that absolutely hate us? Just sayin ... 20% of all insurgents during the Iraq war came from E. Libya (another stat from CNN).
  • In other news, 100 or so people were killed in Juarez last week. Since all of our military is engaged in N. Africa and the Mideast, are we going to send in the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts to institute a no fly zone on the Mexican boarder?
Why oh why can't we just get Dave Chappelle to be our president and bring back Jamie Fox / Tony Blair ... "What, huh, oil? Who said something about oil, bitch you cookin?"

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