Patient Zero

For the past week (almost a week), I've had the pleasure of a viral / stomach infection. While most people think, that's horrible, I'm going to take a few minutes an focus on a few positives about this stomach virus:

• I got to know a lot about the Emory Emergency Room 
• I have kick started my diet and lost 10 pounds 
• I slept 20 hours in a single day and 16 another
• 5 consecutive hours of vomiting led to an intense ab work out.  The spreading of the infection to my lungs and subsequent fits of coughing have led to additional ab works outs 
• Despite the fact that I can't remember any of what I've seen due to the 101 - 102 degree fever, I have seen a number of movies. I do recall Haywire -- it was shit.  
• A number of my friends have been blessed with this virus as well -- I take credit for being first! 

I'm not sure I would recommend replacing Weight Watchers or a personal trainer with this virus, but if you seriously hate yourself and want to get in a painful workout that you will never forget, go hang out at hospital, festival or anywhere there are children because all of those places are rampant with the virus. Within hours, I promise you will have an experience that you won't forget for years.  

PLEASE STOP THE MADNESS

Dear Red Sox and Braves owners, managers and players,

I apologize for watching you in late August / September and potentially being some sort of cosmic reason for the recent slide that can only be describe as an EPIC FAIL.

For the love of all things holy (and unholy), please stop one of the largest collapses in sports history. Do you want an ESPN 30 on 30 about how you both fell apart? We want to watch LeBron fail, not the Braves and the Red Sox.  Please ... please ... please get it together.

For the Braves players, I went to hundreds of games in the 80's when I would go home with 3 or 4 foul balls because no one was at the game.  Win a couple of games for that kid who loved Dale Murphy and vividly remembers cheering for Pascual Perez and Raphael Ramirez. During the 1987 season, I watched every single home game -- even the one against the Astros when there were 400 people at the game. For the record, I had more people at my 21st birthday party.

I can relate to your struggles because I played the game of baseball and know how times are tough, the game is decided by inches and its not as easy as everyone thinks (to this day, I hate a lot of stupid fans and always wanted to punch the shit out of the fan that screamed, 'THROW STRIKES." But, as my college pitching coach so eloquently told me during a mound visit, "You best unf*ck yourself and figure out a way to win." Sounds harsh but sometimes, that's what works.  Here are some quick fixes: Kimbrel - try the outside corner and Bard - try throwing your slider away from the sweet spot of the hitter's bat.

But seriously ... suck it up and win. Second place is the first loser ... well, in this case second place is the wild card, but you get the point.  JUST WIN, DAMN IT, WIN!

Sincerely (a fan who really needs you guys to win so things will be ok in life),
Jed Eckert